A Kink
in the Cure

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A Kink in the Cure is an ethnographic, creative, nonfiction inquiry into the world of sexual trauma, kink, and BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism). The live performance, as well as the written work, includes stories from people who have a history of sexual abuse and trauma. Each of these individuals found that the practice of BDSM has had effect on their healing process.

Created by Tim Murray, A Kink the Cure was designed to explore the fascinating, and still hidden, stories of abuse survivors who identify as “kinky.” The piece provides a frank look at some uncomfortable truths about sexual abuse and violence in our culture. Focusing on the survivors’ experiences, Murray addresses the ways in which “kink” has acted as both a barrier and a benefit to those attempting to address the lingering shame and trauma resulting from their abuse. 

"From interviews with multiple kinky folks to some social commentary on how BDSM play can both positively and negatively affect participants ... KITC allows for discussion around this incredibly fraught issue."

-Shanna Ph.D., M.Ed., ACS

Request for Consent

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We are going to get into issues around sex, and bondage, and rape, and incest, and violence, and hurt, and love, and joy, and anger, and rope, and healing....

So with all of that in mind, do I have your consent to share those things with you? If not, please close this page. However, If you are nodding, or grinning, or in some other way giving consent then please, read on.

Here are a few of the voices you'll find within this work:

"I initially felt very concerned and embarrassed about my interest in …all this. I thought, perhaps it made me a bad person or somehow broken or damaged. My wife at the time was certain of it."

 
 

"Staring at the cattle prod in my hands, I realized that I had been faking so many of my emotions for so long."

"In a single moment, I was able to let go and really cry, something I hadn’t done in years. It felt so freeing, like a huge weight had lifted off of me."

 
 

"I was fascinated by kink even before my sexual trauma, probably since puberty. I was always excited by the "dangerousness" and exoticness of it. Kink used to mean safety and growth and strength, and then HE came along."

"I'm not sure what BDSM means to me just yet but I'm working on it. I do know this, it is a part of me, and I hope I can learn how to be okay with that."

 
 

"I still don't know WHY I get wet when I’m spanked or flogged. I do know that my partner likes it and appreciates me on many levels beyond my sexuality."

A Kink in the Cure brought in students who had never come to kink or sexuality events before and sparked conversations in groups that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.
— Bonnie D, student at Amherst College

"EVERYTHING FROM BITING AND PULLING HAIR, TO PLAYING WITH
KNIVES IN BED, CAN BE USED IN A CONSENSUAL AND SENSUAL MANNER. PUSH ME UP AGAINST THE WALL. HOLD ME DOWN. TELL ME WHAT TO DO."

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Who we are

 
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Tim Murray - Creation and presentation
Therapeutic Kink Practitioner

Tim is the author of A Kink in the Cure.  At his core, he is a believer in making the world a better place.  By day, he spends his time assisting large corporations with global change initiatives and mediating conflict.  By night, he advances the evolution of society through supporting local non-profits and engaging with subversive social-change organizations.  He carries a degree in Individualized Studies from Goddard College, where he focused on Behavioral Science with an emphasis on the use of BDSM as a tool for healing sexual shame and trauma. Tim is a queer and polyamorous, switch, puppy, service top... among other things. He holds a Certificate in Conflict Mediation, a Black Belt in Lean process improvement, and carries an authentic copy of The One Ring (just in case).  He has served on the boards of the Seattle Center for Sex Positive Culture and the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom.  He and his partner Aicila Lewis are the co-founders of Radical Intimacy, where they deliver presentations and workshops on topics such as: Balloon Animal Bondage, Self-care as a Secondary, Consensual Sensual Touch, D/s Dynamics for Beginners, Finding Your Edge, Laughter Belongs in the Dungeon, and many others.

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Aicila Wyles - Research and Motivation
(Ah-ee-sila)

Aicila Wyles is the Director of Motivation for the research and development of A Kink in the Cure. She is also an Advocate for Dreamers and Underdogs, an Asker of Hard Questions, and a Community Builder. An unapologetic geek, she may be dressed as a Star Trek cos-playing Minion or a Portal test subject (with a fully-functional costume!). Wyles is an Apocaloptimist; she knows that it may all go horribly wrong, but assumes that even the zombie apocalypse will have a bright-side. Aicila has served on the board of directors for a variety of social justice and arts organizations in Colorado and Washington State.  She is a believer in equality at a core level and has spent most of her adult life working to it make it a reality for as many people as she can. The Woodhull Foundation, The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, Out Boulder, and the Center for Sex-Positive Culture, have all had the benefit of her driving force at different times. She is one half of the duo behind Radical Intimacy, a Colorado based groups that facilitates workshops and leads discussions on kink, sex, relationships and intimacy. Wyles is blessed to have two fantastic children and an extensive polycule to support her in her various hijinx.